Twas the month after Christmas......

Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The biscuits I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number …
And when I walked to the shops – less a walk, more a lumber …
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare’d.
The cookies and chocolates, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you please.”
As I dress myself in my partner’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt …
I said to myself, as I only can,
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
‘Til all the additional pounds they have vanished.
I won’t have a cream cake … not even a lick …
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have donuts, or shortbread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry and angry, hate to go to the store,
But isn’t that what January is for?
I’m trying not to giggle, oh life is a riot …
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!